Feng Shui Funny Shui

I had to post this. I got such a kick out of it when Siamak called me on his errands and then when I read it I really laughed- but I am hopeful it works.

From: LCohne [mailto:lcohne@aol.com] Sent: Monday, March 05, 2007 6:40 PMTo: siamakk@msn.comSubject: OUR HOUSE

Dear Sia,

I just got off the phone with Valerie. She has several (low cost suggestions). I will list them in order of priority and a minimum of running around for you. I don't want you to waste your time on any of this. And a big thank you.
The most important thing appears to be: get a red rug for the entry hall. It should have some pattern in it, it can be terra cotta red or barn red or Chinese red. Get it at Target, Shopko it should be inexpensive. It should be non-slippery, kind of to remind people to wipe their feet. Duck tape 18 quarters to the back of the rug so that when the rug is right side up the quarters are face up.
Bury 9 quarters (heads up) under the base of the for sale sign.
Turn the porch light on and keep it on ALL THE TIME. If you talk to Lynn Warren tell her to keep it on (I will email her later).
Take 2 of Lynn's flyers from the front of the house and circle the $319,00 and put the date of April 1 on the back of each flyer. Put one flyer on the top shelf of the closet in the guest bedroom and one flyer in the top shelf of the guest closet by the entry. (The should be high and out of sight).
Get a very inexpensive fake plant put it in a terra cotta pot, put a few quarters under the plant and place it under the window in the den/office.
Please do not go all over town but while you are buying the red rug, if you happen to see a cheap statue of a horse that is running (not just standing) buy it and place it on the counter above the dishwasher facing the front door. (Please do not go all over for this one or Bruce will have a conniption.) Just keep your eye out just in case.
Take the black rug from outside the front door and place it outside the sliding glass door by the dining room.
Ask Raul to rake the gravel in the front after he replaces the plants that died. I hope he is coming to take care of the weeds in the back.
If you find a St. Joseph statue, follow the instructions on the box. Valerie says they are very popular now and come with instructions.
Thank you so much. We will reimburse you for all your out of pocket. Thank you again. Any questions, don't hesitate to call. Please give our love to Sahar and Sayeh and drive safely. We are looking forward to seeing you when you get back.

Love,
Lynn

The best part is that Siamak thinks the "running horse" that he found at Pier One looks fabulous. -He told me not to tell anyone - but come on, how could I resist.