I have been feeling guilty and conflicted about being a working mom this week. Siamak is sweet and definitely makes things like dinner and lots of encouraging words to make it easier. But this week as I watched neighbors and strollers head off, while I rushed to get work I had some misgivings. I love my job, I love being a role model for my daughter, and I haven't been so content with my life in years but I want it all. I want to kiss Setareh right as she heads out the door and be there right when she comes home. I want to be on top of household chores and organization. I want to go to work and learn and teach and connect and organize and plan and create.
My long commute gives me time to think. I have thought about the commute and the special time I have in the car and today on the bus ride with Arian. We have 1:1 time twice a day that is devoted and meaningful. We talk and play games and I love it. I tuck my kids into bed every night and wake them up every morning (I even get to sleep in the same bed with them 1/2 way through the night...I am so lucky). I am truly happy and fulfilled - I guess I would have it all if ....I could just have 3 hours added to my sleep, 3 hours added to my morning, a few hours shaved off my afternoon and 2 hours shaved off of my commute. Then I guess I would have it all.
Friday, August 31, 2007
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2 comments:
Yeah, I know what you mean. If you are at work, you want to be home. If you are at home, you want to be at work. If you work from home, you want a break from home at work...it's all a little maddening, isn't it?
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